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Fanartist in training
10 May 2015 @ 10:15 pm
Things have been getting pretty messy around here and I've decided it's time to clean things up a bit.
I'm not going Friends Only but I am starting to filter my stuff. I just ramble to much and it's not fair on people if they just want to friend me for the art.

So if you're hear for my fan art then you can watch this journal without having all the other stuff get in the way.

If you want to see my art and also any other posts related to the Harry Potter fandom (recs occasional writing, discussion of canon, the movies, actors in the movies, icons etc.) then leave me a comment asking to be added to the fandom filter and I'll add you.

If you, for some reason want to hear all the boring ins and outs of my life and are willing to put up with me whinging about being sick every day then leave me a comment asking to be added to my RL filter.

Don't be shy. I don't bite unless you ask me to *G*
Come in, sit down, help yourself to tea, coffee and gluten free Tim Tams and don't forget to share the Chocolate Liqueur.
Fanartist in training
30 October 2014 @ 05:52 pm
Ruth and I signed up for Marvel Big Bang and decided to write and art a story about Bruce. I have many, many Bruce feelings. Do read the fic. I'd love to talk about it.

Story: These Walls Are Paper Thin by iamshadow21 at AO3. No pairing and G rated.

Story summary: When most people think of Bruce Banner and The Hulk, they think of it as an either/or situation and assume that it's easy to tell who they're face to face with.

Most people are wrong.

Ruth's notes: Beta by the amazing and ever-supportive tree00faery.
Fanart by my partner, kath_ballantyne, who was as eager to read this story as I was to write it, and who made so many wonderful works for it from the day I started writing up until yesterday. This is as much her labour of love as mine, so please, if you like the art, click through on a picture or click through to part two of the series to leave her kudos or comments.

I wrote this back in June, and I am SO EXCITED to be able to publish it. Five months is a really long time to wait.

This was in no small way influenced by watching Earth's Mightiest Heroes and seeing how the creators showed the dynamic between Bruce and the Hulk. It's made clear that it's not just angry green Bruce - the Hulk is a character in his own right, to the point where they occasionally have conversations. It made me think a lot about the Marvel Cinematic Universe and about Bruce and the Hulk's journey in it, from The Incredible Hulk through to The Avengers (and his post-credits cameo in IM3), and this story was born.

(Emma's Note on Ruth's notes)*[from what I can remember Ruth and I were talking about this idea before we watched Earth's Mightiest Heros and flailed at seeing Hulk and Bruce portrayed that way. I could be wrong. We talked about this idea and a few others but I'm really glad we went this way. We liked the idea that Hulk was there from long before the Gamma incident. I know trauma split multiples are rather an over done trope and media doesn't usually handle them very well. I think Ruth did better than that but given the source material is pretty much Jeckl there's only so much you can do. I struggled a bit trying to come up with a unique way to show this all in art and ended up just using shadows. Not exactly unique but hopefully it gets the idea across. Ruth wrote about the Multiplicity stuff here]*

Art Notes: This was the first time I've participated in a Big Bang where I was part of the process from the beginning. Some of these artworks were drawn before anything was written and some were drawn later to illustrate written scenes. It was really interesting to play a part in creating the story as well as just drawing from a fic. I really enjoyed it.

IamShadow21, as always, did a wonderful job of finding the words for this
idea we came up with. Thank you my love. I loved working with you. Your words always make me feel.

I'm really excited to get to share this with people finally. The story has been basically finished for 4 months and we've been sitting on it, unable to talk to others about it.

I've put in alt text on these for those using screen readers or who have pictures turned off. I think it works though the hover text is just the title rather than the description.

All G rated
Art under hereCollapse )
Art on AO3 if you'd rather comment or kudos there
I'll get it up on Tumblr once I can load it.
Current Location: Home
To the sound of: Lewis
Fanartist in training
30 October 2014 @ 05:04 pm
I've been madly drawing for a while. Had a whole heap of fest art that needed doing and I spent a lot of it wanting to draw Steve and Bucky so once I'd finished the ones I had to do, I did some more art.

I've actually managed a porny S/B annimation, a single S/B porny thing, a porny Steve/Peggy and two cuddling S/B arts. Due to our shitting internet I couldn't upload any of them. We're now back up to speed so here's the porny Steve/Bucky art.

It's been a long time since I posted art properly. I must get back in to it. I was actually thinking of setting up a new Tumblr just to post my art rather than all the reblogs. I can't find stuff when I want to.
I'm also not sure if I should post my art on AO3 or if I should only put up stuff that goes with stories. Anyone have any ideas?

Title: The things we could do
Characters/Pairings: Steve/Bucky (pre serum Steve)
Rating: NC-17
Content: Anal sex in a time when it was illegal, skinny Steve, pre-war, Steve & Bucky covered in scars (given the fights they totally would be)
Artist's Notes: I've been meaning to draw a pre-serum Steve/Bucky doing illegal things for ages.
Decided to try changing the colour of the line art to be only slightly darker than the colour in the picture rather than having stark black outlines.

The things we could doCollapse )

Will get the other Captain America art up soon and the Potter stuff is all going up in the next couple of months: 1 on samhain_smut, 2 on harryronreunion, 1 on hrholidays and 1 on Daily Deviant's Kinky Kristmas
And all but the 2 on Harry/Ron Reunion are multiple panel arts.
Fanartist in training
26 October 2014 @ 02:59 pm
* The black Victorians: astonishing portraits unseen for 120 years long-lost series of photographs, unseen for 120 years, is the dramatic centrepiece of an illuminating new exhibition called Black Chronicles II.
“The portraits were last shown in the London Illustrated News in 1891,”

* Victoria passes bill toexpunge homosexual convictions A historic milestone was passed for the LGBTI communities in Victoria last night, as the Victorian Parliament has voted to expunge the criminal convictions of men who were charged with having sex with men before homosexual law reform.
NSW also passed this since. It's fantastic. Qld came out and said that they wouldn't be doing the same, that there are other more pressing things to do than expunge old convictions and then after 2 days they've changed their minds. I guess someone explained that these people are having to go around with a sex offence on their records because they had consensual sex with someone of the same sex. These should have been expunged once the law changed. How many people have been unable to get jobs because of this.

* Same-Sex Couples at Home With Themselves in 1980s America Sage Sohier’s series “At Home With Themselves: Same-Sex Couples in 1980s America,” was, in many ways, ahead of its time. Today, apart from a few dated fashion choices, the photos of gay couples in domestic settings don’t seem that shocking. But when Sohier began shooting the series in 1986, AIDS and sexual promiscuity seemed to be the only headlines about gay people.

* Actress Lucy Lawless Speaks Out About Irlen Syndrome During Irlen Syndrome Awareness Week Seems it's Irlen awareness week. We had to save for about 8 years before we could get tested and get glasses. They have made a big difference though.

* Poverty: The reality of the DSP DSP is Disability support payment in Aus.

* Gough Whitlam
One of our previous Prime Ministers died. Gough made some massive changes to Aus for the better and the current government has been trying to dismantle it all.
He ended discrimination against gays and lesbians in the Commonwealth Public Service (except for the military). He ended welfare discrimination based on sexuality. A person’s homosexuality could no longer be used to deny them access to social security.
He may have only been Prime Minister for three years but it’s hard to think of an aspect of Australian society that wasn’t touched by Gough Whitlam. The Family Law Act, The Trade Practices Act, The Racial Discrimination Act, land rights for aboriginal people, equal pay for women, pension reform for the elderly and Medicare (Medibank as it was then known). We no longer had to sing ‘God Save The Queen.’ He put a stop to oil drilling on the Great Barrier Reef. He commenced a massive urban infrastructure program for our cities (it’s hard to believe that our major cities back then had many unsealed roads as well as limited phone connections). He was a champion of the arts and the film industry (one which barely existed prior to his office.) He introduced free tertiary education and was the first leader from the West to go to China setting the groundwork for Australia’s future.
He was Australia’s greatest social justice reformer.

* We used to call them sheltered workshops.
That’s a thing of the past – they’re now branded as ‘Australian Disability Enterprises’, places where people with disability are routinely placed and where you can earn as little as $1.79 an hour.
In Australia there is a minimum wage but it doesn't apply to people with disabilities.
Workers are scaled by ‘productivity scaling’ – despite the fact that the government’s own productivity scaling tool (BSWAT) was declared discriminatory and illegal last year, productivity scaling in different forms continues in sheltered workshops around Australia.
Fanartist in training
24 October 2014 @ 03:50 pm
Haven't managed to post. Was cleaning the house for the inspection. We did really well and the house was as good as it gets. Still looks a bloody mess but we wont get kicked out for it.

I've been reading lots of Steve and Bucky fic and trying to recover. Have pushed way too far.

I gave in and used the surface spray so I ended up sick with asthma and fever and chills and my skin was sore and itchy and felt burnt all over.

Yesterday I did nothing but read fic. It was wonderful. Or would have been if I wasn't so exhausted and in lots of pain.

Now I have to get back to painting so I can get it all finished on time. We're now watching Miss Fisher again. Oh god I love this series. It's women focused, it's beautiful and I adore the music and I love that it's a detective series set in 1920s Australia with a sexually adventurous female detective. I love the focus on women's power and skills and there's no slut shaming and the clothing and embroidery and uh. It deals so well with race issues and gay and lesbian issues and I love it so hard.

My brain is still very foggy so I best get painting before I forget again
Fanartist in training
10 October 2014 @ 01:16 pm
Slowly recovering after the market stuff. Exhausted and brain foggy and in a lot of pain. Especially my neck and shoulders. My doctor wants me to come off the patches again though. I don't know that I can.

Some fandom stuff and links
Sherlock Holmes Subtext This site goes through all of the original Sherlock Holmes stories and points out the subtext. I love it. Whether you think they are fucking or not they are in a co-dependant relationship.

Samhain-Smut has started posting and there's some great stuff there so far I don't tend to give out prizes for guessing what is mine in a fest as it's generally obvious. I did draw for this though.

I'm now working on stuff for Kinky Kristmas, Harry/Ron Reunion, H/R Holidays and Marvel Big Bang. Busy times but lots of fun. Just need to be able to sit upright long enough to paint them.

Art by [profile] reallycorking
Click on the banner, or see this post for more details.
There's still time to whip up something quick for the Harry/Ron part of the Potter reunion November. I'm working on my art now. Can't forget my favourite boys.

[profile] hrholidays 2014 Holiday Fest!
Prompting begins: October 8th
Claiming begins: October 18
Fanworks due: December 10
Join the community for more info!
Harry/Ron Holidays has got a small fest running for the holidays. Minimum is 1000 words so it's not too much to get done if you want to carry on your Potter love after the reunion.

Other links

Living Gay in Papua New Guinea (Warnings for mentions of homophobic violence) The documentary Guavas and Bananas: Living Gay in PNG has been screening as part of the fifth PNG Human Rights Film Festival. This article talks about the documentary but also about the gay and trans* community in Hanuabada. It is interesting to read that the gay culture in PNG is similar in a lot of ways to the stuff I was reading about New York queer culture in the 1920-1940s. It seems to be more based on gender roles rather than who you sleep with. They both talk about gay men/fairies(the term used in pre war NY) taking on female roles and modes of dress and other men being called straight men even though they are obviously sleeping with men. There is no line drawn between effeminate gay men and women who were born with male genitals so some terms used may sound offensive in our culture.

There was a hideous murder of a woman in Queensland. She was killed and cooked by her Chef husband. This is awful in and of itself but the disgusting way it was reported in one Queensland news paper makes me sick. If you follow me on twitter you would have seen me ranting about this already.
Warning for disgusting Trans* slurs and violence and a newspaper report making it sound like because she was trans and a sexworker she deserved it. This had nothing to do with being trans or her occupation. Her husband was a man who murdered and cooked his wife. How is that not sensational enough for them. Mayang Prasetyo caught the eye of a sadistic domestic abuser who isolated her from her family and friends and then murdered her.
The Courier Mail’s report on a sickening crime has angered many readers with a shockingly transphobic “she male” headline on its front page today. Also has links to an online petition calling for a public apology from the paper.
Courier Mail does a piss poor job of apologising for transphobic slurs on it's front page An editorial in today’s edition of the Courier Mail stopped short of making any sort of apology about its treatment of Mayang Prasetyo, simply stating that the paper had “no intention of diminishing the value of Mayang’s life, or to add to the grief being left by her family.”

Out gay comedian Josh Thomas has challenged maverick Queensland MP Bob Katter about his views on gay people – even offering to put Grindr on his phone, just to prove gay people in northern Queensland actually exist!

This article on how couples shouldn't become 'fused' was offensive and annoyed me It seems a bit petty to go on about with some of the other things I've gone on about here but I need to close tabs and wont manage to post again just for this.

"When this couple first met they were separate individuals, but over time they have blended into one identity. They may now now unhealthily fused.
This fusion usually means they know exactly where each other is at every moment, they will not go anywhere without the other, they do not have separate friends, they have given up past interests to please the other and they compromise on all issues to keep the relationship safe. And if you dig deep, they are content… but bored to death."
It goes on about how "it is mentally healthy to allow* the other the freedom of independence. It is after all the differences in each other that kept us interested when we first met. Fusion kills the spark of excitement of the unknown."

"Allowing your loved one the freedom to go out and do his, or her, own stuff is a gift to each other. It is a gift, which offers trust and freedom. What is wrong with letting the other take a separate holiday with a friend, go to the movies on their own, take a trip to climb mountains with others, join a sports club, have drinks with work colleagues, have separate friends that you don’t really like anyway… it’s all really about you each trying to find your own style of expressing your self again."
*emphasis mine.

I just... have they been in a controlling relationship? Were they not allowed to do things on their own. It's very different to not WANTING to.
Ruth and I spend pretty much all day every day together. We are not bored. We enjoy the same things. We read fic and do fandom stuff together. We craft and write and draw and talk about so many things. The only limits on our life that bore us or hold us back are caused by health problems and lack of money. None of these things have anything to do with our co-dependant relationship.

I know this sort of relationship is not for everyone. My mother would hate it. Ruth's Mum and step dad have very little in common other than church but it works for them. I couldn't do that.

We have our own opinions on things, we have our own likes and dislikes but we haven't given up any of our passions to be together. We compromise on some things, every relationship does. We support each other through all the shit we have to deal with. We have some problems occasionally. Usually they come down to things like depression and anxiety and miscommunications sometimes complicated by Autism. We occasionally get frustrated but we talk and we work things out and we don't fight and we're happy. We're fucking solid.

So yes, we're 'fused'. Neither of us stops the other from doing anything they want to do (unless it's due to lack of money), we don't hold each other back, we hold each other up. It works for us and we're fucking lucky to find someone who matches up as well as we do.
Fanartist in training
06 October 2014 @ 07:03 pm
a post of stuff so I can shut tabs.

* White Collar BB I didn't realise there was one but TJ pointed it out. Will hopefully get some time for reading now the market is over.

* Cat's Claws This is a blog of a dear friend who is majorly in to nail polish. If you like looking at awesome nail designs and pretty polish you should follow her.

* Eye On Hawkeye Atol Comics blog has a bunch of write ups about Fraction/Aja/Hollingsworth Hawkeye. I love how he points out why things are laid out the way they are and how movement and time are conveyed. I've really enjoyed the ones I can load. There are slight spoilers if you havent read the comic. If you haven't, what are you waiting for??!!

* Buzz Feed's 24 reasons why you should be reading Matt Fraction's Hawkeye Also has some spoilers but yeah. It's awesome. Read it.

* Fibro Fibers kickstarter I really wanted to back this to the level where I got a ball of yarn. We haven't had the money though. its beautiful colours and I've been on the email list for a long time. It's good to support others out there trying to be crafty with chronic illness.

* Invisibility out of my control Graeme Innes (previous Disability Commissioner before they ditched the position) writes about how people with disability are treated as invisible.

* Stella writes that Disability simulations should be left in the 90s I don't agree with everything in this but the main point about the campaign is important. Speaking out against disability barriers is important. I do however think that the idea of someone spending time in a wheelchair does actually make them aware of the barriers that they wouldn't already see and surely that helps. Someone with no mobility issues and who has never known anyone close who has them would not notice the width of doors, the absence of accessible toilets or how many places have steps. I mean they would probably notice a flight of stairs but those smaller changes in level and single steps in to shops are everywhere and you don't notice them until you have a reason to. An hour or a day in a chair/not talking/what ever doesn't give any real insight to all the struggles that a non adaptive society impose on people with disabilities but it can make someone more aware of some of the biggest issues.

* Woollywormhead's new pattern is cool. I want to make it in my handspun

* The Girls In Aerospace: Vintage Photos Of Rocking Women Working On Planes


Art by [profile] reallycorking
Click on the banner, or see this post for more details.

I'm going to pick and work on a prompt to post during the reunion now my market stuff is over. Spread the Harry/Ron love.
Fanartist in training
06 October 2014 @ 04:25 pm
There was none of the awkward Progress Association bullshit after the set up day. The school table for the raffle was in the best place for it. They asked for one table for a raffle and they got the best spot for that. They also brought loads of second hand goods and had them stacked about. They ended up outside. Don't know if they sold much. I know the fridge went. But yeah, it wasn't Lorraine's fault and hopefully it wont happen again. As for the food thing, I'm not sure what their issue was. They didn't want them selling pies, said it was because they had told the new store owner that there would only be the sausage sizzle on one day and nothing else competing with them. The shop doesn't have fruit pies for sale. Ugh. I think they sold them from their house. Hope they did well. I know a lot of locals who'd buy from them. I would if I could eat gluten.

The market was okay but really slow. There were hardly any people compared to normal. I don't know why. We sold some knitted stuff despite the heat, had a couple of people say they'll email us about commissions etc and sold a couple of other bits. Not many of the paper flower hair clips went. We sold a couple of the badges but none of the art cards or postcards. Had a few lovely comments about the art which was nice.

We made plenty to cover the cost of the market and the few things we bought. It was nice to see the people who regularly have stalls at the market.
On the Sunday they were running the Artists Studio Open Day. Oh I wish I'd been able to go. I'd love to catch up with the artists etc. And on Thursday they announced that locals could go for gold coin donation. Arg. I could have afforded that but we had the stall to sit at.

I got two bobbins of wool spun before I ran out of combed fibre. Saturday night I couldn't get any more fibre brushed out either because I had a pair of scrap yarn mitts to weave all the ends in on. On Sunday I brushed out some fibre for a while and then knitted a cowl and a necktie thinger instead of spinning.

There was an exhibition opening at the Visitors Centre and we'd been invited to a BBQ/camp fire thing at Lorraine's place too but we were too beat. It's always exhausting dealing with people all day, being upright all day etc and the lead up to the markets involves a lot of work. There was also the hours sleep we lose on Sat night because of Daylight Savings. Oh and it was hot. Hot makes us both tired. Hot means my blood vessels relax further and so blood pools, my blood pressure drops, I get a migraine and my body dumps adrenalin trying to keep blood going to my heart and brain. Didn't remember to check my blood pressure and heart rate while I was out. Must get around to doing that.

Went to sleep before 11 last night and got up at some point after midday. Today has been spent doing not much of anything. Brain fog is bad and I'm exhausted. Just keep catching myself staring off at nothing for ages.
Ruth has sorted out the kitchen and done washing up and is making dinner.

I need to recover but it's very hard to do nothing. I have this panic that I'm not getting stuff done. I've not really stopped in the lead up to the market. Always working on something for the stall. Now I don't have to. What do I do with my hands. How do I shut off the panic and just rest? Sitting up is really too much right now. I may go lay down.
It's too early in the year to be this hot here. I know summer heat started in early September when we lived in the Hunter Valley in a tin shed but it's not meant to here. There's meant to be a cooler change come through at some point tonight I think.

We must move Matilda. Matilda is the new to us, old shop dummy we were given for the stall to show off a shawl. We also got a metal hat stand. Meant we could fit a lot more on and once we've sorted out the rust etc it will be great.
Some pics of the stall and one of the burn blister on my finger, just warning youCollapse )
More photos when I get them off my phone. I took very little this year. Didn't have the energy to find the camera.
Fanartist in training
03 October 2014 @ 10:06 pm
Haven't posted in a while again. Been getting stuff ready for the market. Haven't really stopped but I've managed to get pretty much everything done and the stall set up today. Market starts tomorrow morning so I won't be on until Monday probably.

There was drama today. We set up our stall where we were last time as we were told to and then later someone came in and bitched because the school was meant to be there and then said that Steve couldn't sell his pies and things from the market because it would get in the way of other local businesses. Ugh. There's only the pub and shop left and the shop has very little because the guy just took it on last week. This is the first market that Steve and Suzanne don't have Hosie's cafe any more.
So we ended up sitting at our stall for a couple of hours while shit got sorted because we didn't know if we had to move stuff. Turns out we don't but we really didn't need the extra stress.
We get that corner booth because we have a stall every market and we have the spinning wheel there. I need room to spin.

Anyway we came home and I've done very little since. I showered for the first time in over a week. Last time I was going to I got that weird dizzy/spinny/ thing that turned out to be sinus stuff then I burned my hand with the hot glue gun making the flower hair clips.

Anyway I have had a vodka fruit tingle drink and watched the Captain America movies (oh so many feels!! so many. And I can't load Tumblr to flail. I miss Fandom on LJ) and I shall try and sleep early.

It's now late and the movie has finished so I should get off my arse and try and sleep. I've been really struggling to get up after 10 hours sleep latlely and I need to get up in time to get to the market before it opens.
Fanartist in training
12 September 2014 @ 10:25 am
it's barely 10am and I'm already done with today.
Not been doing well health wise. My stomach has been worse than normal. I've had a lot of trouble with the reflux again/still and a lot of nausea. I got proton pump inhibitors though so hopefully they'll help, once they eventually kick in.

My asthma has been really playing up but I didn't have to take more than one puff of ventolin yesterday so hopefully that's easing off.

My pelvic floor has been cramping/tightening up for a while now and I think it's because my chair has collapsed a fair bit at the back and it's tilting my pelvis wrong. I have been trying to fix this with a pillow etc but 1, it's not really high enough to work, I need a wedge of foam to go under the cushion and 2, the chair is now harder than it was so my lower back is killing me.

My neck has also really been bad. I don't know if I've re-herniated a disc or if it's just swollen muscles pinching a nerve. Either way it's massive fucking pain all down my shoulder and arm. I barely slept last night with the pain and woke this morning with incredible tension in the muscles on the left side of my neck. I have used ice packs etc but still can't stop it. All my muscles seem to be tensing a lot today. It causes all sorts of problems. I'm worried my left shoulder is going to dislocate again it's pulling it that far out. Don't have any muscle relaxants though, the doctors wont give them out any more.

I just need a brake from all this pain.

Oh and our internet isn't working properly. Again, still, I don't know. Last night and today we can't load Tumblr and AO3 wont load properly. How am I meant to distract myself from the pain?? ugh.

I managed to get to the doc on Wednesday, even though I wasn't well enough for Hydro. I'd been off my patches for a week then. I'm on them again now but it's not kicked in yet. I'm going to take more codeine and if that doesn't work today I may have to seriously consider the benzos in my draw. They're clonazapam. They're about 5 years old but I had so much trouble getting off them. I was on them daily rather than just when needed but I don't know if I take them if I'll be right back there, you know?

No idea when this will post. It's not loaded enough for the tags to come up etc.